After digging through a box of books I discovered in the attic, I found a book I thought I had lost during my last spring cleaning: School of Fear. I sat down and quickly read it and the other 2 books in its series. I soon remembered how much I loved SOF's slapstick comedy, sarcastic wit, and interesting characters. While the book is written for a middle-high school aged audience (and the writing isn't anything spectacular), it truly is a one-of-a-kind book that makes you accept absurdity as the norm and gives you a lot of laughs along the way. 90% of the book is stream-of-consciousness ramblings, but the author somehow managed to make it into ridiculous, funny scenarios.
I am not writing a review for this book, simply because I don't think anything I could jot down would do it justice. And I don't necessarily mean that in a good way...with SOF, it really is a love/hate relationship: the writing isn't the best, the plot is absurd, the characters are kooky, but you can't stop reading it.
Do I hate it?
Do I like it?
Still not sure.
Does it make me want to throw whatever it is I'm holding because I can't describe my feelings for it?
If I had to give one word to describe School of Fear, the word would be "entertaining." (There are many other words that come to mind, such as weird, random, bizarre, far-from-ordinary, funny, unique, strange, and eccentric. Then again, some of the best books out there possess some of the same characteristics. I would recommend reading the book so you know exactly what I'm talking about...it's better than me rambling on and on...)
Anyway, it is the most perplexing feeling I've ever had when reading a book.
In that spirit, we arrive at what this blog post is really about.
At the beginning of every chapter in School Of Fear, the author lists a "fear," i.e. a word with Latin origins whose definition begins with "the fear of..."
The four main characters are sent to attend the School of Fear to be put through many exercises/trials which would cure them of their fears (fear of water, insects, small spaces, and dying).
I wanted to list my all-time favorite (and ridiculous) fears from SOF, and I have done so below. Please enjoy these fears and their assorted comments.
Phobiophobia - the fear of phobias. This probably isn't the right article for you. But I was nice and put this ph*bia first so you could go ahead and stop reading. You're welcome.
Ablutophobia - the fear of washing or bathing. I met a kid like that once. He didn't smell too nice.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - the fear of long words. Now, if people with a fear of long words want to know what the name of their fear is, they're in for a bit of a surprise. Great job, whoever came up with that.
Peladophobia - the fear of bald people. They're scary. Well, everyone except The Rock.
Logizomechanophobia - the fear of computers. No comment.
Helminthophobia - the fear of being infested with worms. Please excuse me while I go throw up.
Arachibutyrophobia - the fear of PB&J sticking to the roof of one's mouth. Fear this.
Chirophobia - the fear of hands. Don't go to Universal Orlando, then.
Syngensophobia - the fear of relatives. I think everyone feels this once in their lives.
Erytophobia - the fear of blushing. How does this even work? Do you get scared of your own face?
Ephebiphobia - the fear of teenagers. HEY! PEOPLE WHO HAVE A FEAR OF TEENAGERS! Guess what? You were a teenager once.
Blennophobia - the fear of slime. Possibly the result of watching Ghostbusters and being terrified that you just wasted two hours of your life.
Gerontophobia - the fear of old people. HEY! PEOPLE WHO HAVE A FEAR OF OLD PEOPLE! Guess what? You're going to be old one day.
Neophobia - the fear of anything new. There goes your life.
Novercaphobia - the fear of stepmothers. You can blame Cinderella for that.
Opthalmophobia - the fear of being stared at. Don't ever wear a fandom shirt (see previous article).
Automatonophobia - the fear of wax statues. Seeing as I've been staring at this one for fifteen minutes and my brain hasn't come up with a sarcastic comment, I'll just leave it be.
Which one of the above is your favorite fear? Is there a funny one I should add to the list?
Comment your answer below or comment on my Twitter account, @HogwartsGrad_7.
After reading this, I know you really want to go check out School Of Fear.
Here's some info for you: author = Gitty Danshivari.
If you read it, let me know what you think of it!
Remember to never, EVER leave the house without your wand.